Conquering Your Inner Critic: A BODY POSITIVITY essay
Can you Teach Yourself to Be Brave?
Do you ever look at someone and wonder how they got their confidence? Why they seem brave in the face of uncertainty while you struggle with your own insecurities? It took 22 naked people to help me push through many of my own insecurities.
Scare Your Soul recently asked its members to challenge themselves with a body positivity movement by being part of a nude portrait session. As the volunteer photographer, I had only 10 minutes to photograph each of these brave models. (They’re all models because, really, anyone willing to get naked on camera earns that title). The volunteer models came in all shapes and sizes. Men and women. Baring all as-is. No retouching allowed.
Each person had seconds to go from dressed to undressed. Only seconds from feeling protected to fully exposed and vulnerable in front of a total stranger.
Baring Body and Soul: Insecurities and Fear
When I have to focus on a big project, my second language, logic, kicks in. I organize, plan, over-prepare and get the job done. It’s what makes good photographers successful as both artists and organizers. But as I was setting up my equipment the day of the session, I was overwhelmed at the weight of what I was doing. Undressing their bodies was like undressing their souls. What if I mess this up?
I’m a natural introvert, sometimes even afraid to approach my subjects because I like my personal space. As the first model came in, my insecurities were almost crushing.
Can I make each person feel comfortable when he or she is at their most vulnerable?
Can I honor them through my photographs?
When they see their images, will they criticize their bodies all over again?
What if our personalities don’t connect?
It’s hard to admit this as a photographer, but I worry a lot about whether I’ll do a great job. Excellence and speed don’t exactly go hand-in-hand. There are many challenging aspects to photography, both technically and creatively involved in capturing a really beautiful image. In nanoseconds, I mentally process a giant mental laundry list before I click the shutter. Throw in a few dozen naked people with fast posing and now I understand why Xanax is so popular. #anxiety
Powerful Transformations
But despite my fear, I found courage as I noticed a subtle shift with each model. Over the course of each 10-minute session and throughout the progression of the day, I was amazed and encouraged as each person’s physical posture transform from extremely guarded to absolute liberation. Protectively-crossed arms and legs flowed into raised hands and dancing feet in just ten minutes as they rocked to Spotify playlists.
These nervous, scared souls became brave confident warriors. And I found myself more connected, more conversational, and more confident as I coached them through poses and affirmed their bodies.
Like any habit, bravery sneaks up on us in a subtle, yet beautiful rhythm when we practice it. And when we push.
Push through fear.
Push through pain.
Push through our insecurities.
Push...ourselves.
My takeaway: No BODY is perfect. But every BODY can be brave.
Contact Michelle
View fine art portraits to see more body positivity images.
To book a session, contact Michelle Loufman.
